Love don't live here anymore.

Hey guys! Howdy do? yea we're still on this "howdy" tip,lol. So I just left the lovely TWP's blog aka VivrantThing and the topic struck a cord,well 'cuz 1. I'm woman 2. I've been a victim 3. I know a number of victims 4. I also know a few offenders too.
Basically the post is about "String-long relationships",the ones that date for while (years in most cases),promise each other the world,claim to love each other,the lady may even get a "rock" and a fancy proposal and then just like that gbam!Get dumped. Next thing you know homeboy is engaged to be married to the "love of his life",SHIKENA!
Ok after that background let me give you a brief history into my dating/love life. In my very first proper relationship,I was the offender.I knew I didn't love him,yet I strung him along for a few months and one day out of the blue i broke it off with him. He cried,he begged but as much as I knew he loved me,I knew I couldn't reciprocate,so it was better to let things end then rather than years down the line. Relationship 2 happened about 2 and a half,almost 3 years after the first...fast forward 9-10months it was over (I believe I've blogged about this before). He didn't string me along,we both knew it wasn't going nowhere,he met up with someone else (from his past),I bounced,he married her in about 3months. Relationship number 3 hahaha this one was a dumb move from day one,after on and off for about 2years,I let him go. I've been single for over a year now.


A couple of weeks ago this guy I used to talk to said B,"I don't like this new you. You're so cold and detached...I miss the old you." See at this point I didn't realize I had changed,in fact I still don't think I've changed. I think this is  another side to me he couldn't see before until he tried to string me along for no damn reason. We are friends now,no worries but I can't forget how he tried to play me.
I remember sometime ago, I met this guy, not bad on eyes, tall, has a good job, ambitious...you know my kind of guy. We met up a few times yada,yada,yada until I asked him what he wanted from me, dude bolted! lmao! Calls ceased,bbm's reduced,I stopped seeing him. LOL I guess he couldn't take my straight forward question. He assumed (for some foolish reason) I wanted him to wife me or something. I mean dude we've hyped you,you're hot but you're not on fire,no need to pour gasoline on yourself (I hate the smell). You see my question was simply to know where to put him- "Just friends", "Potential boyfriend", "Bootycall" or "Not interested" (which is where he is now). I was simply trying to avoid a "String-along relationship". 
As they say a man can date you for 10years and know from the 10th minute when he met you that he wasn't going to marry you. Woe betide any man that will date me for years, meet my parents and loved ones, even put ring on my finger and then not wife me. 
Even my girlfriend has accused me of being emotionally detached and I agree.
I am not emotionally attached to people,I am the kind of person that stays home days on end without any physical interaction with friends. I am not the kind of girl that throws "darl,hun,sweetie,love..." (and whatever other kind of endearment people use these days) around. It doesn't come naturally to me. Don't get me wrong,I do love my friends but unless we are in a relationship and I actually love you,you WILL NOT be hearing "love you baby" from me. I don't fall easily,actually I have only ever been "in love" once.(Disaster). I lose interest in men as fast as I gained interest. I am inpatient in waiting for you to know what you want ('cuz i pretty much know where i wanna put u in 5mins of meeting) and once it's gone,it is gone *shrug*. I'm not a "long ting" type of babe. I told some guy that and he didn't get it either :o
Love don't live here anymore,it's been long gone. I do hope to meet up with love again someday soon,but until then My name is Bollz and I am emotionally unavailable.


People, avoid String-along relationships, I prefer straight up relationships,be honest and say what you want or don't want. Ladies (especially) remember IF YOU ARE NOT MARRIED,YOU ARE SINGLE. Don't get it twisted.


Till next time Peace, Love, Harmony and Respect.
xoxo,
Ms.Bollz


P.S Ms licious i'm changing my font colour for you (this one nko?),don't say i never did anything for you :p

Judge not

Argh! This thing called christianity... Before I go on,no one is perfect,I know that. Not even pastors or bishops or reverends or whatever the heck they choose to call themselves. Even I am far from being the best "christian" or church goer. But I know how to go to my God without the help of a pastor. Of course you all know by now where this post is going,you probably have all read or heard about the popular pentecostal church pastor in london that was accused of molesting two boys in his church and has now confessed. Appalling hunh? I know! I am disgusted,angry and above all hurt! What is there to judge? He has admitted to his crimes. He did it,he preyed on those boys,took their innocence away and then you sit there and blame the devil?! Oh please! cut the bull! When he knew he was battling with his sexuality why didn't he seek help? Why didn't he come out then and ask his beloved church and followers to pray for him then? Heck why didn't he seek out older men to explore his sexuality with? That's his problem,if after wife and kids he decides to play for the other team or test run his "equipment" on another race course,but why those kids?! Instead he chose to continue living in denial of his problem while enjoying the benefits of being called "man of God".

So I ask,what makes this man special? What makes him different from the many other pedophiles who are accused and sentenced everyday for heinous crimes committed on young boys (and girls)? Because of the title "pastor"? He needs your prayers quite alright but what about the others?

Before you answer the question ask yourself this- What if it was by son?or brother?or cousin? or nephew? or you?
Would your answer still be the same?
He didn't confess to sleeping with a female church member or male for that matter,he confessed to molesting YOUNG boys!
I pray none of you are ever a victim of child abuse or molestation. You will never know till you walk a mile in my shoes.
Judge not,but don't stand up for foolishness.

Till next time Peace,Love,Harmony and Respect
xoxo
Ms.Bollz

Thrill of the chase

Howdy people!

lol howdy?I think i may be somewhere in the outback sneaking to type up this post at the back of the barn (hunh?) ok whatever! Where have I been you may ask? Well I've been right here my lovers,just right here.

So recently (as I do all the time) I was going through my messages on facebook,deleting irrelevant ones and such and this picture catches my eye. It's this guy whom I met on there,it was like a 100 and something messages in less than a week,minus fb chat and skype. I posed small before I eventually gave him my bbpin (and I sorta wish I didn't). The thrill of the chase is a female dog,u know you (think) you want something and you go after it hard and then after a while (a week or two in this case) it fizzles out Gbam! just like that. Then you begin to wonder,"what happened to such n such" "we had such fun conversations"... That's exactly what i thought. From him always instigating conversations to even calling (he's in the UK),to the hours on end back and forth messages,to skype calling and eventually video calling. The thrill ended just about the time we started bb chatting

*lemme pause this post to saw,I just say a picture of Chris browns peen #Teambreezy*

Moving on! That's just the recent story,there have been so many others like that. From constant talking to barely even thinking of the person anymore. (I think he has a girlfriend now). I'm not the type of girl to chase,i'm old fashioned in that sense,I may take the ball and run with it but you have to make the pass. So maybe my run was too fast? NAH! oh well his typos were becoming too much to ignore *bbm not interested smiley*

So i'm thinking if you ever meet anyone who gives you the thrill of the chase everyday,keep 'em close. He/she might just be the one.

Till next time Peace,Love,Harmony and Respect to you and yours.

xoxo

Ms.Bollz